ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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