Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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