Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
