do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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