thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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