a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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