girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
