; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
