the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
