I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
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Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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