Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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