The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize