I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
