So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
