peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
sarcasm needs its own font
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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