booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
