Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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