yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
