This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize