So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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