First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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