covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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