Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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