I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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