I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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