I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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