i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
