dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
