so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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