I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
