I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
