we made out on top of his cat.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
