For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize