and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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