it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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