AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
