I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
only you would photoshop your dick
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
