It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
