if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize