Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
