I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
