I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize