i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
