he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
