don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
