the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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