people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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