Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize