he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
