Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He shit in the fireplace
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
