Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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