Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I still have a little drunk in my system
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
