Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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