Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
