Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
